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ache

Send to me angels or demons, I say.
Let loose your chained desires and upon my flesh you can play.
Taste the salt tears as they blend with my soul until it bleeds upon white sheets and stains your core.
I know you hide these thoughts, just the same as I do.
They wake you at night, leave you aching and blue.
You can almost feel the flesh under your fingers sometimes.
Almost feel another's heat upon the sheets by your side.
Does it scare you as it does me? To feel this rush?
Time to free these monsters as I ache for your touch.


demons

caught between my demons
one one each side,
holding me down,
cheering on the crowd...
who came to watch the spectacle of me drown.

you see there is no angel,
no perfect choice,
just my two growing evils
and a tiny inner voice...
telling me to breath it all in and let them begin to tear my soul apart.

there is no lesser of the two..
they are both flawed.
neither wants this whole,
they just want their own piece of their perfection,
their own vision of my world.

wait...i close my eyes
i take a deep breath and let the pain rush inside.
feel the burn of the drowning as i give myself over.
there is no winning it seems
and sometimes the pain is better than the searching
and they are stronger than me.

go ahead, take your pieces you demons of mine,
to the victor goes the spoils,
i am tired of the fighting.



haunting

You haunt me and you hurt me so...
unbeknownst to you as you sit there in your own world playing your God-like games.
Desire withdrawn, hot then cold, you lead me on.
No leash, but a leash all the same. So it goes.
Like a moth to a flame, knowing it will get burnt, get hurt...
...yet craving your words.
You haunt my fantasies, my realities are tainted since your touch.
There is no other who seems to know me so much... yet,
...you know me not at all.
And I sit here and yearn, and bleed my soul, and die a bit with every passing day.
'Yes, I am fine,' I say.
And I turn to find another way to make this pain go...
...but it's comfortable.
At least I have this much, I try to tell myself.
So close, yet so far away, so many miles, so many days...
...we go on with our lives.
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
There is no other choice.

Is there?


 
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