HNT 22 ~ Get out!

The "guest" is gone! The door is now locked!

While there is still a ton of things that need to be seen to, cleaned, studied, and avoided (lol)...

There is one less mouth to feed, to clean up after, to entertain, to babysit.

*happy dance*
I haven't even had a chance to read any blogs since last week!! I checked my reader this morning... boy, do I have some catching up to do!!

So I am off to read, to study, to stare at the dishes piled in the sink, to realize I used way too many exclamation points in this post...!!!

And don't even think of knocking on my door asking if you can stay for awhile!

This hotel is closed.

Unless you're naked and holding a bottle of Vodka, that is!!

*wink*

Accident Prone

...aaaannndd the Klutz award goes to...

callie!

(insert applause here)

*fanning away the tears*

I'd like to thank my backup bottle of Vicodin, the ice pack in the frezzer,

...and also my kids for causing me to win this award!

~~~

I am going to WARN you... if you are easily grossed out, don't click! And please do ignore the ugly foot. LOL. The picture is the aftermath of my spaciness... this isn't the fun kinda bruise, so no pokie pokie VanImp!

(exit stage left)

TMI Tuesday 18

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
Absolutely not. Been there, done that. Just ends up being a loveless relationship and no sex at some point. I am in love with being " in love" and because I am an emotional lover, I need and thrive on that connection with someone that grows over time to really sustain an amazing sex life.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?
Isn't this just a rewording of the first question??
Love that lasts forever. Sex is just an hour (or 3) out of the day... it's that other 21 hours together where you really get to know and grow with someone, lean on and care for them.

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
There is not anyone that I can think of that I should have taken back or married, and they ALL should have been tossed earlier than than they were. I have what has been termed 'Damsel in Distress Syndrome' (invented by my father, cause he has it too, lol). I think I can "fix" people, but they always end up dragging me down with them instead. I am also bad at saying no, don't like to hurt people's feelings, and try to think 'tomorrow will be better'... 4 years later, the relationship is still crappy, I have wasted 4 years, and I am unhappy.

I am doing my best to make sure that doesn't happen again. I am not getting any younger(!) and refuse to waste another year on someone that isn't in it for me as much as I am in it for them.

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
Oooh.. I have absolutely no clue. If it's my last ever, then I damn better make sure its good! and there are several people who could help me accomplish that.

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)
I know I can't pick them all, but they do all factor into each other to a degree. If one is having troubles with their finances, relationship and/or sex life... this does effect their level of happiness. Therefore, Happiness is the most important, because if you have that ... everything else in life is in place. ;)

HNT 15 ~ Long Week

It's been a long week.

Yes,

A lonely and long week.

One where I have been torn between just wanting to hide in bed,

and just wanting him to touch me ... just once.

HNT 13 ~ The straw that broke...

Somedays...

you feel the weight of the world

on your shoulders.

Somedays...

you just want to hide in the corner,

or bang your head against the wall.

Somedays...

you just need to stop,

and Breathe.

TMI Tuesday 6

1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?
I am very pro-marriage. Ever since I was little I have wanted the big white wedding. And since my parents are both multiple divorcees, I have always said I am only going to do it once. Hence, my many engagements and no marriage thus far! My parents split when I was young and I have always held on to the dream of finding 'the One' and growing old together. Every one says marriage changes things, but there is also a sense of security that comes with that little piece of paper that you just can't get by just living together. I am just old-fashioned I guess.

FG and I have talked about this subject many times. He was like me... only once. He has done his one and says he will never get married again. Yet, he has also joked about us tying the knot in the future... lol. Well, if he wants to stay with me, he is going to have to change his mind. I am still owed my one wedding!

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?
Nope. I think this goes along with one of the questions last week. I am not too into the contorted sexual positions. And... since sex has been around.. forever, I am sure it has all been done before!

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?
I am still up in the air about this one. It's a grey area. I love to be restrained, but that is not the same as tied up. Light bondage can be fun occasionally. But I much prefer being bodily held down, wrists gripped in his hand above my head, or a hand on my throat. yum-O!

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery?
Absolutely. Again, its a commitment issue. Just because it is online, does not make it any different from meeting someone at the bar. Any time you are being intimate with another (and its not been discussed within the relationship as okay) then that is cheating.

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?
Umm... no! Having just come off of an almost 1 year dry spell (!!), nothing beats the real deal. I am not that into masturbation. It really does nothing for me. Sure, I can get off, but what turns me on is another body, hands molding skin, the force of bodies coming (and cumming) together.. and you just can't get that on your own! Funny thing is though, I usually masturbate more IN a relationship that not. If I don't have any one to be intimate with, the urge just isn't really there. But when I am with someone, and they might be at work, I can get so worked up with anticipation that I need that release to get me through until I can get my hands on them. *grin*

6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?
Right now, YES. I have a year to make up for after all! Unfortunately, the sex I did have this weekend was SO good that I think I am missing layers of skin and am outta commission for a bit. :( *blush*

Speaking of which, I still have to write the update on that encounter!

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?
Hmm.. I can be/am a bit possessive. Just from past history, jealousy has reared its ugly head. It really depends on if the flirting is serious or just in fun. If it is serious, then hell ya, there is a problem.

8. Do you think you're flirty by nature?
100% yes. Which is not always a good thing and has gotten me in trouble on more than one occasion. Sometimes I don't even know I am doing it. I tend to flirt sometimes as a way to ease awkwardness and tension when around new people.

Friday the 13th

Should I find the correlation between the fact that I was born on a Friday the 13th and my seemingly unending amount of bad luck amusing? Or is my subconscious just playing roulette with my life? When bad things happen I have always said, "Well, I was born on Friday the 13th!" Yet, I still count the calender, getting amost giddy when my birthday once again falls on that special day.
So, no paraskavedekatriaphobia here! I have an affinity for black cats, broken more than my share of mirrors in my time... and I am sure there is a ladder in there somewhere too! I have always felt a bit special being the 'unlucky one', but wish luck would once turn my way, smile, and grace me with her touch.

1WW ~ for a friend

Some news really makes you stop and reevaluate life... like when a friend tells you she has cancer and its spread.

We met back in my slave-ass kicking days, she was a fellow proDomme. Even after I left the Den, we kept in contact sporatically, and she used to come into the nightclub I managed most weeks. In hindsight, we weren't as close as we could have, or should have, been. Life and drama causing me to neglect alot of friendships back in that time. We have both been through hell the past year or 2 with a past relationship, which has caused us to reconnect somewhat even though we are separated by 2100 miles now.

Miss B is a few years younger than me and has small children like me as well, this makes her news hit all that much closer to home. She is strong, and I know she is going battle this with all she has. She has too. There is no choice but to beat it!

So, my wish is for her... to do with however she wants. She is in my thoughts and my heart always.

*picture c/o postsecret.com

TMI Tuesday 2

1. When you sleep with someone, how much or how little contact do you like to have? I am a cuddler, but also want my space. If I can't get comfortable, then i can't sleep. And if I am horny, having a naked body pressed against me tends to keep me awake too! ;)

2. What do you think there is a appropriate amount of time for a divorce parent to date before introducing the kids to the "new" "special" person in their life? That would have to be an individual choice based on the circumstances and ages of the children. I think if the parent is "just playing the field," then it would be inappropriate to introduce every wo/man that crosses the sheets. If the relationship has been discussed, is serious, and there is a possible future, then introductions would be appropriate.

3. Which ONE do you wish you had more of in bed... romance, experimentation or foreplay? How about just SEX in general? Let me get the basics and then I will quibble over the details! ;)

4. What do you thinks makes a kiss great? Passion, whether subtle or fiery. That spark that keeps you glued to the taste and feel of the other's lips. Oh! And a little bit of biting goes along way! :D

5. Describe your sex life in two words. Sadly Nonexistent

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell.... I can't think of any one moment right now. SM was great in the sack, that is one thing I will give him credit for and certainly miss a lot! He knew how to push the right buttons, and that always makes me smile. Now, it just makes me cry, cause I need to get laid!!

Backward and Forward

`Well, January '09 is over. One month down and 11 more to mess up..oops, I mean make changes for the better. ;)

I got alot accomplished and nothing at all done this month! The first half I got a good bit of studying in despite a streak of infections with my wisdom teeth. Finally got those darn things out a few weeks ago! Which has turned me into an unmotivated, blog surfing, lump of laziness the last half of the month.

I remember my dad made some crack about me getting my "smart" teeth out before the surgery. Shit, he may have been right!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a lot of plans for the month of February. Besides getting back into the swing of things with school, I want to try and start working out again in the mornings, and go through my belongings and de-clutter a bit.

As for the blog... besides the HNT, TMI, and 1WW's, I am going to attempt to participate in A Month of Poetry. The site says:

A Month of Poetry is a challenge to write a poem a day in the month of February. Send your poems to us, post them on your own blog (send us a link), print them in chapbooks and sell them, read them aloud to your friends, or burn them one by one. Just keep writing.

Time to brush the ol' cobwebs off the creative noggin' and see what I can come up with. This should be interesting. ;)

TMI Tuesday 1 ~ Movie Edition

My 1st TMI Tuesday!!

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
OMG! Ready for this one?? It was Superman Returns in 2006!! Which I had to see not only once, but again when it came to IMAX in 3-D, thanks to my Superman-obsessed ex, SM.

2. What is your favorite movie theater snack?
Mmmm.. gotta have Red Vines... fresh ones.. all soft and chewy.. *drool*

3. Have you ever snuck in 'outside' food into a theater?
EVERY time I go... or, uh, went that is! Unless I am on a date and he is paying. ;) but that hasn't happened in... ohh, AGES!! The theater just charges way too much for stale candy.

4. Have you ever made out in a theater?
Oh, yea! Who hasn't at least hit 'first base' at the movies??

5. What is the 'farthest' you have gone in a theater?
Umm... second base, rounding 3rd *brushes cobwebs off the memories* Oh, do drive-ins count?? Hee hee!

Bonus (as in optional): What is one of your favorite movie sex scene?
The first one that comes to mind is Boxing Helena. There are several oh soo hot scenes in that movie, but the one that comes to mind is when Nick and his girlfriend, Anne, are getting sweaty while Helena watches through a crack in the door. A song by Enigma is playing... and it pauses.. the breathing... ohh my! *starts fanning self* H.O.T. I think I need to go rent that movie again!

I tried to find a clip.. but no luck! Here is the trailer if you haven't seen the movie. It's one of my favorites, but definately has the creepy-factor going on.

If I were a boy..

*(This artist is Lisa Lavie and I am absolutely in love with her since finding her on youTube. She does covers that showcase her amazing voice, but her originals are just as great. I am sure I will have more of her music on here as time goes by, but check her out on your own!)

Eggs

I am a member of CM and have been for many years. My profile was originally created when I was a ProDomme all those many years ago.. and my screen name reflects that. When I got single again, I reactivated my profile and switched my preferences over to reflect the little subbie that I truly am. As you can imagine, this invites a lot of comments and some confusion with the contradiction!
So recently, I just decided to ditch the old profile and start new for the new year. Along with the old screenname not reflecting who I am any longer, the whole 'I want to tame the Domme' scenario that I seem to get from those that don't actually take the time to read my profile is getting rather old.


Like any dating/social site, there are 100 bad eggs for every 1 good egg you happen across. But the site does provide some amusement while skipping around basket in hand for the elusive real Dominant. ;) VanImp at Vanilla Impaired calls those bad eggs "Duminants" and so true it is! Here is her blog on how to spot this abundant species and tips on how to avoid being pestered by one!


I got this message a week or so ago that I had to share! I think this guy fits VanImp's criteria.

First contact from SirClueless*: Kneel and open your mouth

My reply: Only if you want it bitten off. Do not presume to order me.. you are NOT my master.

hee hee

Clueless: Smiles. But that could be rectified. You have a beautiful back and beautiful profile


Wow, dense. I am thinking he didn't get the point the first time around, just a guess though.. However, that day I didn't want to waste more energy on this eejit.

Me: Not going to happen. Sorry. Good luck, elsewhere.

Him: I didnt expect the tediousness of that from your profile!

my blank stare...uhh......

My profile says very little... but one of the things it does say is that I am NOT looking for an eejit... err.. Master. That I am only there to meet new people and friends. I think I need to start letting my little Domme back out again, and start seeing just how much I can toy with the Duminants.



*names have been changed to protect the...errm...innocent?