tendrils

Time to step back, and breathe it all in.
Ideas like tendrils of smoke tickle my skin.
Wrapped 'round wrists, bound by a thought.
Obscuring the vision and clearness of mind.
They have invaded my dreams, these tendrils, I find.
Time to step back, and breathe it all in.
Consume from within and let it seep in.
The mind still fights what the soul has submitted.
But I know I have already given over to their call,
Resistance was lost as my knees hit the floor.

canvas

Light tickles across softly scented flesh,
like butterflies dancing a tune.
You hear in your mind the music playing
as your breath on her skin draws forth
the notes from her throat in a tender sigh.
Nails upon this pale canvas is the crescendo to this song
as her sighs turn into low moans.
Thus like art her skin is yours to paint
and her voice is yours to compose.

drown

this is the end...
a new tide rushes in and crashes over my face,
upturned toward the sun,
hoping to catch the last rays
like honey on the tongue before the end of this day.
you are the sea...
i dare to breathe in, to drown in your strength
and flood the senses with your embrace.
down into the depths i crave to sink in.
but... this is so much more
than just the surf tickling the toes
on a stroll along the beach.
this is eternity...
to let the cold sink in and warm from within,
to completely give over and just breathe you in.
a sense of panic before the kiss...
can i suffer this pain
to dance in the euphoric abyss.

for you...

Words dance across my fingertips and down onto this page.
A whisper of the rage that burns inside.
No font can show the longing, no bold face type convey the scream I hold back.
All I have is these words, and this need.
Can you read?
Do you see?
Can you see me in this pitiful poetry?

Yes, I am lonely, I will admit to that much.
And these words are my crutch that keeps me going each day.
My little way to siphon off some of the commotion that builds up inside
...and haunts me at night when the sheets by my side are empty.

But pity me not.
That does me no good,
and not want I want anyway.
Just please read my words,
and believe they're for you,
and hold in your heart what I say.

ache

Send to me angels or demons, I say.
Let loose your chained desires and upon my flesh you can play.
Taste the salt tears as they blend with my soul until it bleeds upon white sheets and stains your core.
I know you hide these thoughts, just the same as I do.
They wake you at night, leave you aching and blue.
You can almost feel the flesh under your fingers sometimes.
Almost feel another's heat upon the sheets by your side.
Does it scare you as it does me? To feel this rush?
Time to free these monsters as I ache for your touch.

demons

caught between my demons
one one each side,
holding me down,
cheering on the crowd...
who came to watch the spectacle of me drown.

you see there is no angel,
no perfect choice,
just my two growing evils
and a tiny inner voice...
telling me to breath it all in and let them begin to tear my soul apart.

there is no lesser of the two..
they are both flawed.
neither wants this whole,
they just want their own piece of their perfection,
their own vision of my world.

wait...i close my eyes
i take a deep breath and let the pain rush inside.
feel the burn of the drowning as i give myself over.
there is no winning it seems
and sometimes the pain is better than the searching
and they are stronger than me.
go ahead, take your pieces you demons of mine,
to the victor goes the spoils,
i am tired of the fighting.

haunting

You haunt me and you hurt me so...
unbeknownst to you as you sit there in your own world playing your God-like games.
Desire withdrawn, hot then cold, you lead me on.
No leash, but a leash all the same. So it goes.
Like a moth to a flame, knowing it will get burnt, get hurt...
...yet craving your words.
You haunt my fantasies, my realities are tainted since your touch.
There is no other who seems to know me so much... yet,
...you know me not at all.
And I sit here and yearn, and bleed my soul, and die a bit with every passing day.
'Yes, I am fine,' I say.
And I turn to find another way to make this pain go...
...but it's comfortable.
At least I have this much, I try to tell myself.
So close, yet so far away, so many miles, so many days...
...we go on with our lives.
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
There is no other choice.

Is there?

be still...

wish i could feel your hands on my flesh, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
consuming my senses like an in-rushing tide.
to be pinned down just by the look in your eyes.
melted by the whisper of your voice in my ear.
'be still, love...'

these are the times when the ache for what never was is the strongest.
these quiet moments when falling asleep...
'be still...' they tell me.

HNT 26 ~ Colors are Pretty!

This commercial interuption is brought to you by...
Colors

Friends likes to call me Rainbow Brite and poke fun at my multicolored belongings... for the life of me, I cannot figure out where they came up with that one! ;)

HNT 25 ~ Guests

Sorry I was not here (last week),

But I see that everyone has arrived!

HNT 24 ~ This Sucks

Ha ha.. get it? Sucks?

I just have one question...

How do I work this thing again?

mmm...tasty

HNT 23 ~ Party's Over

So many of you stopped by.

But now that

the party is over...

Who is going to help me clean up?

HNT 22 ~ Get out!

The "guest" is gone! The door is now locked!

While there is still a ton of things that need to be seen to, cleaned, studied, and avoided (lol)...

There is one less mouth to feed, to clean up after, to entertain, to babysit.

*happy dance*
I haven't even had a chance to read any blogs since last week!! I checked my reader this morning... boy, do I have some catching up to do!!

So I am off to read, to study, to stare at the dishes piled in the sink, to realize I used way too many exclamation points in this post...!!!

And don't even think of knocking on my door asking if you can stay for awhile!

This hotel is closed.

Unless you're naked and holding a bottle of Vodka, that is!!

*wink*

Accident Prone

...aaaannndd the Klutz award goes to...

callie!

(insert applause here)

*fanning away the tears*

I'd like to thank my backup bottle of Vicodin, the ice pack in the frezzer,

...and also my kids for causing me to win this award!

~~~

I am going to WARN you... if you are easily grossed out, don't click! And please do ignore the ugly foot. LOL. The picture is the aftermath of my spaciness... this isn't the fun kinda bruise, so no pokie pokie VanImp!

(exit stage left)

Birth control

HNT 21 ~ The Shower #2

... but my showers are no longer mine. They have become his.

He has moved in and taken over.

His hands playing across my skin along with the cool water.

Replacing my 'quiet time' with pleasure.

...this is a continuation of last week's HNT which can be seen here...

Forecast

Hot with a chance of showers

Just Filler... #8

1. Vodka and sex make a quick and easy dinner.

2. Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite is the book I'm reading right now.

3. July brings back memories of ovens, the fires of hell, and blast furnaces.

4. The fact that I am a klutz was (painfully) obvious.

5. They say if you tell your dreams that you want better ones, they wont listen.

6. Just give me what I want and then I will try to think it over.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the horizontal tango, tomorrow my plans include visiting with family and Sunday, I want to stick my head in the sand like an ostrich!

HNT 20 ~ The Shower #1

My showers used to be my time to myself, away from the kids, at the end of a stressful day. Letting the hot water play across skin, beat against aching neck muscles and back, I would just stand there and close my eyes, feeling the day rinse away...