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He echos through my mind like some unwritten brand across my flesh.
No matter how I try, I cannot the shake the feeling of his breath on my soul.
I close my eyes, wishing to the skies to take this memory from me.
Leave me whole again, to pursue another course and find a place to call my own.
And just when I sigh and think I may be free from the words he has etched across my mind,
Here he comes once again, dancing across my vision, tempting fate, tempting emotion, tempting flesh.
And thus I sit and wait, praying against that fateful day when he sets me free once and for all...
...or finally claims me as his own.


Time to step back, and breathe it all in.
Ideas like tendrils of smoke tickle my skin.
Wrapped 'round wrists, bound by a thought.
Obscuring the vision and clearness of mind.
They have invaded my dreams, these tendrils, I find.
Time to step back, and breathe it all in.
Consume from within and let it seep in.
The mind still fights what the soul has submitted.
But I know I have already given over to their call,
Resistance was lost as my knees hit the floor.


Light tickles across softly scented flesh,
like butterflies dancing a tune.
You hear in your mind the music playing
as your breath on her skin draws forth
the notes from her throat in a tender sigh.
Nails upon this pale canvas is the crescendo to this song
as her sighs turn into low moans.
Thus like art her skin is yours to paint
and her voice is yours to compose.


this is the end...
a new tide rushes in and crashes over my face,
upturned toward the sun,
hoping to catch the last rays
like honey on the tongue before the end of this day.
you are the sea...
i dare to breathe in, to drown in your strength
and flood the senses with your embrace.
down into the depths i crave to sink in.
but... this is so much more
than just the surf tickling the toes
on a stroll along the beach.
this is eternity...
to let the cold sink in and warm from within,
to completely give over and just breathe you in.
a sense of panic before the kiss...
can i suffer this pain
to dance in the euphoric abyss.

for you...

Words dance across my fingertips and down onto this page.
A whisper of the rage that burns ins
No font can show the longing, no bold face type convey the scream I hold back.
All I have is these words, and this need.
Can you read?
Do you see?
Can you see me in this pitiful poetry?

Yes, I am lonely, I will admit to that much.
And these words are my crutch that keeps me going each day.
My little way to siphon off some of the commotion that builds up inside
...and haunts me at night when the sheets by my side are empty.

But pity me not.
That does me no good,
and not want I want anyway.
Just please read my words,
and believe they're for you,
and hold in your heart what I say.


Send to me angels or demons, I say.
Let loose your chained desires and upon my flesh you can play.
Taste the salt tears as they blend with my soul until it bleeds upon white sheets and stains your core.
I know you hide these thoughts, just the same as I do.
They wake you at night, leave you aching and blue.
You can almost feel the flesh under your fingers sometimes.
Almost feel another's heat upon the sheets by your side.
Does it scare you as it does me? To feel this rush?
Time to free these monsters as I ache for your touch.


caught between my demons
one one each side,
holding me down,
cheering on the crowd...
who came to watch the spectacle of me drown.

you see there is no angel,
no perfect choice,
just my two growing evils
and a tiny inner voice...
telling me to breath it all in and let them begin to tear my soul apart.

there is no lesser of the two..
they are both flawed.
neither wants this whole,
they just want their own piece of their perfection,
their own vision of my world.

wait...i close my eyes
i take a deep breath and let the pain rush inside.
feel the burn of the drowning as i give myself over.
there is no winning it seems
and sometimes the pain is better than the searching
and they are stronger than me.

go ahead, take your pieces you demons of mine,
to the victor goes the spoils,
i am tired of the fighting.


You haunt me and you hurt me so...
unbeknownst to you as you sit there in your own world playing your God-like games.
Desire withdrawn, hot then cold, you lead me on.
No leash, but a leash all the same. So it goes.
Like a moth to a flame, knowing it will get burnt, get hurt...
...yet craving your words.
You haunt my fantasies, my realities are tainted since your touch.
There is no other who seems to know me so much... yet, know me not at all.
And I sit here and yearn, and bleed my soul, and die a bit with every passing day.
'Yes, I am fine,' I say.
And I turn to find another way to make this pain go...
...but it's comfortable.
At least I have this much, I try to tell myself.
So close, yet so far away, so many miles, so many days...
...we go on with our lives.
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
There is no other choice.

Is there?

be still...

wish i could feel your hands on my flesh, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
consuming my senses like an in-rushing tide.
to be pinned down just by the look in your eyes.
melted by the whisper of your voice in my ear.
'be still, love...'

these are the times when the ache for what never was is the strongest.
these quiet moments when falling asleep...
'be still...' they tell me.

callie in chains 2008-2011 | TNB
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